Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Darah aku Hijau dan Kuning!

Kalau kita sebut saja Chelsea, Manchester United, Arsenal, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Milan, Juventus... semua orang akan teruja dengan pasukan-pasukan bolasepak tersebut. Tak kira lah walaupun nama mereka di dalam IC ialah Husin Lempoyang ke.. Ali Sudirman Abdul Razak ke.. Semua dengan gah bercerita tentang kehebatan pasukan kegemaran masing2. Malam minggu, kalau kena musimnya, akan kelihatan muda mudi bergembira menonton perlawanan di kedai mamak. Yeap, aku pun terlibat jugak.. Sebab bola sepak ni memang dah sebati sebagai a Malaysian interest. Hampir semua ada pasukan 'angkat' untuk disokong, tak kiralah di England, Spain atau Italy. Tapi yang sedihnya, ramai yang sokong pasukan 'angkat' lebih dari pasukan sendiri (negeri atau kelab). Umpama "kera di hutan disusu-susukan, anak di pangkuan mati kebuluran". Sekarang marilah ikut aku, kita menjenguk-jenguk sikit 'anak' kita yang di pangkuan tu. "This is Kedah!!" *ala2 King Leonidas gitu.. =p

Figura 1-1 Kelibat hooligan melayu

Aku tau.. dah bersusun kawan-kawan sound, gambar ni bersepah.. comot.. muka takbleh blah. Tapi aku tetap suka jugak. Boleh aja aku edit muka aku ni ngan phtoshop jadi commercial sket.. yang penting ketika ini ada pengalaman dan saat itu!

Figura 1-2 Perlawanan akhir Piala Malaysia Kedah lwn Selangor

Figura 1-3 Seleksi warna darah kamu

Figura 1-4 Mereka yang percaya Kedah pasti juara

Figura 1-5 Barisan pejuang turun ke padang

Figura 1-6 Kan lebih menarik kalau juara Cheers 2007/08 yang turun waktu half-time? xD

Figura 1-7 Jeritan "Gol" tiada batas usia mahupun jantina

Figura 1-8 Tak kira bila kita sudah juara atau belum, kibarkanlah!

Figura 1-9 Sebab kenapa berat sikit nak bawak anak dara tengok bola

Figura 2-0 Pesta bersama-sama di padang.

Figura 2-1 Marilah kita semua pulang

Figura 2-2 Classic! Tapi ironiknya.. number plate 'W'

Sunday, August 24, 2008

music of the nights..

I spent all night awake just now.. kinda like bored and got nothing much to do anyway. and plus it's a sunday already. i can have a lie in and not worry a thing. kinda like browsed(not eyebrow you morons!) youtube and stumbled upon some nice MTV parodies..

the best one(for me.. well this is my blog.. so my opinion is basically the rule!) would be a nice '7 things i hate about you' parody done by Mr Dave Days. the song is well recorded and the video is done quite nicely. lyrics been altered to 7 things i hate about cardboard Miley Cyrus he's in love with. here.. have a look..



yeaa.. yeaaa... i know... Miley Cyrus is my guilty pleasure. and her song is kinda cute xD. well i cant be listening to Lambofgod on repeat right? need some sweet girl singing too.. u know.. =p and this parody works as well.

next one would be a linkin park parody. like hell yeah!! the lyrics smacks them(LP and their fans) right between the eyes. i can tolerate LP, still, if u compare to other songs in the radio. but that would only happen in the car as im too lazy to burn, buy or even bring them cds to my car. xD so this parody kinda like criticized almost every aspect of the band, and it's cleverly done. have a peek..



i would usually hate the songs which are on repeat on each of the god damn radio station (and tvs too). so here is a good parody of an overplayed song by rihanna, umbrella, done in the most exquisite manner.. just watch!! condemn me later xD



how do you like it?? xD excellent isn't it? wahahhahahaha *evil laugh

a parody was also made on Shakira, mocking her accent since she's from colombia. i have nothing against her, and love her whenever she sings 'underneath your clothes' to me.. but it's just funny. sorry shakira.. u know i love u =p



the last one, a parody of kitty(katie?? kate?? Katy?? well whatever!) perry's 'i kissed a girl'. owh.. in Malaysia it's called 'i kissed' only since our wise o' government, board of cencorship whatever whatever are not allowing such suggestive prose to influence our young girls. the title only, the song we can.. xD so... being your typical Malaysian man, im rooting for this one as it delivers directly what we should embrace. so here it goes.. 'i kicked a girl' by petercoffin.



hehehehehe.. how does it feel girls/women/ladies?? well if you asked me.. petercoffin could've done better with the video but the song is just nice! xD woot woot!! i hate this song (as in the original one lahh!).. like seriously.. but i sometimes find myself humming or singing it thanks to the mighty hitz.fm / tv and other stations for the constant brainwashing and repeat.

*note to self, sing 'i kicked a girl' instead of 'i kissed a girl' next time around.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Gergaji, pisau butter dan Swords of Omen..

Dulu, waktu aku kecik2 dulu. Aku sangat lah nakal.. Aku sangat suka akan cerita2 yang penuh aksi dan aku akan selalu mempraktikkan apa yg ditoton, didengar & diajar untuk memastikan kesahihan sesuatu. Making sure it's doable or not. Antara list hall of fame aku sebagai kanak2 yang ganas adalah menerajang akak aku ketika bermain otromen vs raksasa (aku otromen, akak aku raksasa) di atas katil spring baru di rumah. Waktu tu, aku around 4yrs old kot.. Tendangan mid air 'no shadow kick' aku membuatkan akak aku yg malang tu melambung sampai jatuh ke bawah katil dan hospitalized for one night sebab nasal bleeding yang tak berhenti2. Seminggu mak aku bagi jelingan maut aja kat aku..


Around time tu jugak lah.. Aku memiliki senjata keramat aku sendiri. Kalau King Arthur tersohor dengan pedang Excalibur, Hang tuah masyhur dengan keris Tamin(g?) Sarinya.. aku plak membuat onar dengan Swords of Omen aku sendiri (pedang Thundercat laa.. aperaa.. tak tau!). Pedang plastic yang agak panjang bagi seorang budak 5 tahun itu adalah senjataku untuk membelasah semua benda.. Kucing, kawan2, jiran sebelah, makcik jiran sebelah, atuk kepada jiran aku, kakak, abang.. Habis semua benda pernah merasa pedang tu. Selepas puas belasah, aku akan tekan punat kecil kat handle pedang tu and lambang Thundercat akan menyala tanda kemenangan dan disusuli battlecry aku "Thundercat.. hoooooooooooo....". Kalau Tamin(g?) Sari hilang dek zaman, Excalibur dipulangkan kepada dewi tasik, pedang aku pula menerima nasib berbeza. Ia telah dipatahkan oleh makhluk gergasi Gorgon (abang aku!). Ianya masih tetap aku simpan walaupun dah patah dua persis pedang Narsil milik King Elendil yang kemudian dicantum semula menjadi Anduril yang diguna oleh Aragorn dalam Lord of the Ring (itu pun sebelum mak aku buang satu basket besar mainan2 aku bila aku masuk darjah satu).

Aku juga pernah menghentak seorang budak perempuan yang bermulut celupar. Lantang dia jerit2 maki hamun aku... tak kisah laa.. tapi bila dia dah start kuar "Mak kau.." telinga aku panaaass. Terasa macam aku di teleported ke 'Ruang Angkasa Setan (tm)'. Terus aku "Henshin!!" dan hentak dia dengan kerusi kayu yg bleh dijumpai di mana2 sekolah rendah in abundance. Nasib baik lah aku masih lagi punya belas kasihan, aku cuma hentak her legs je.. Akibat musibat, mak bapak dia datang sekolah and bebel2 kat aku. Nasib baik parents aku tak di inform pasal tragedi tu, tapi cikgu2 sekolah dah tampal label besar2 kat aku. Lantak laa.. aku habis jugak kan belajar kat sekolah tu?

Aaaaaa... yang ni lebih tragis dari yang lain2.. dalam darjah 3 camtu laaaa... Aku telah membelasah seorang kawan aku dengan pembaris kayu satu meter. Alaaaa.. yg cikgu2 guna zaman dulu2 tu laaa.. (zaman skarang bebudak semua wimp!!! kena cubit sket dah ngadu and report polis). Event tu ala2 gurau kasar laaa.. tapi yang sadisnya.. Keesokan harinya kawan aku tu meninggal dunia. Seriously pergi ke rahmatullah dan tak kembali. Dia meninggal dalam tidur sbb disengat either kala jengking or lipan bara... aku pun tak ingat. But apa2 pun esok paginya dia ditemui sudah putus nafas di atas katil dan mulutnya dah berbuih. Tragis.. sebab benda terakhir yang kami kongsi ialah aku membelasah dia dengan pembaris dan bukannya benda yang baik2. Owhh.. btw.. she is a SHE okay??

So sejak dari hari tu.. at that young age, aku belajar grasp the idea yang perempuan ni fragile. Tak macam lelaki. Tak kira lah kuat mana pun feminist2 dalam dunia ni tempik and mintak equality. We are of a slightly different construct. Hakikatnya kita guna gergaji untuk memotong kayu dan butter knife untuk sapu mentega, jam or at least potong roti. Kita bleh paksa gergaji untuk sapu butter and potong roti, and yes, with determination we can cut plywood with a butter knife. Tapi relevant ke? Dan start dari event2 ini laa aku tak pernah dah membelasah wanita/perempuan/gadis anymore. Kalau lelaki lain cerita xD muahahahah... *kidding! Skarang aku gunakan words.. cause they're sharper and people can fight on equal ground regardless of their sexes!

(aku ni insaf lagi kee tak nie??? 0.0)


Figure 1.1 Saw & Butter Knife

I would love to write about traditional role between sexes, norm and expectations and all.. tapi sekarang tak rasa intellectual sangat laaa.. Brain capacity kena sedut ngan World of Warcraft!
"Me Grimmlock, me smash! You Die.. me Grimmlock me your boss! Me pawn you, who's your daddy??" (-.-)

Monday, August 11, 2008

Self defense 101: For ladies only!

Whenever you flick papers nowadays, it is a sure thing that you’ll see a sexually oriented crime being reported everyday. Be it from sexual harassment cases, rapes, murders and even snatching. The victim is almost always female. It’s obvious that this type of news is what really sells the paper. For example tabloids, they’re full of it. Not quite convinced? Try opening any… I mean ANY online newspaper and then look for ‘most viewed’, for sure it’ll be news from that domain (cheyy.. now there is an official domain for it! =p). Lately, a good friend of mine has started working at the heart of the city. She’s working on odd hours, UK time, so she would be coming back home during AMs. So we kinda like provided her with some useful tips to prevent her from being in tomorrow’s newspaper.
  • Tint the side window as dark as possible– this will surely minimize your ‘invitation’ level while driving. And if you were stopped by a JPJ, inform that you work at odd hours and would usually drive alone at night (or you could choose a more common method, smile and flirt with the officer xD).

  • Always lock the doors and never linger(not lingerie you pervie!!) in the car. Just get in and move out!

  • When you are walking, have your keys between your fingers, poking out of your knuckle. It will be an instant weapon if you shove that on your assailant’s face (just don’t shove it on your boyfriend’s face laa..).

Figure 1.1: Imagine having this kick-ass brass knuckle with your keys

Photo taken from http://picasaweb.google.com/WeaponCollector/MyHomeMadeKnuckleDustersBrassKnuckles/photo#5209867047199479810

  • If you’re assaulted, attack the vital areas. Assuming that it’s a guy, kick his (assuming only men have balls) future sons and daughters. If it’s a lady (yeaahh.. women can be a sexual animal too..) or of unknown sex (yeaahh.. the city is full of it already), refer to item no 3.

    Figure 1.2: Let granny show you young ladies how it is done

    Photo taken from http://forum.notebookreview.com/showthread.php?t=223484&page=3

  • And if you’re being followed/stalked by a stranger, find a way to really drop his/her/its (I'm trying to be as universal as i could) interest on you, for example, DIG YOUR NOSE!!

Figure 1.3: Making this move will surely cuts off any sexual intention whatsoever

Photo taken from http://hypersonicbeams.blogspot.com/2007_07_08_archive.html

Although this wont stop the demented and twisted ones, you will stop your everyday 'Joe' from dropping some cheesy line or some idiots who love harassing or teasing girls late at night. xD It can also be applied whenever you wanna cut off an interest from a guy you are not interested in. But you need all the guts in the whole wide world to pull this "weapon of mass destruction". Hahahahahaha =P

p/s:- please do drop any practical safety tips for me to share with that friend of mine! it'd be much appreciated. tengkiu! =D

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Self Centered Shit!! (mine!!!)

According to some friends, i am currently suffering from a major trauma and in a defensive mode when it comes to relationship. They said that I am building a wall around me by putting a LOT of criteria and being fussy about it. This, as they claimed, will put me on a safe zone and thus disabling me from making any progress with any new found relationship even though the chemistry is there.

Another school of thought has devised somewhat a different theory to it. They are saying that I am too of a 'best friend' type than the 'boyfriend materia'l, not having the ego to really keep them interested. According to them, I am the 'nice guy' type and everybody know that nice guys are the last thing a girl want as a bf (eventhough they claim they want a nice guy, just wanna be loved and all, don't be fooled!! xD).

[*all the statement are based on what friends have said to me. I didn't in any way alter the information to make it more dramatic and doesn't intend to cause any personal or emotional harm to the people involved. I value your concerns and I know you guys care about me.. =D]

Okay.. okaayyy.. cut the CRAP!! Do I look traumatized to you?? Do you think I'll be having seizures the moment a girl passes by? Frozen perhaps? Just give me a hot girl and lets see how traumatized am I.. xD muahahhaha *evil laughs! Me, being selective doesn't mean that I am not willing to or that I am gay. It's just that I couldn't really get all the ingredient right yet. I wanna be sure (yeaa.. yeaaa.. i know.. we're not making a car here.. so no guarantees!).. I wanna make a masterpiece.. not some junk that'll end up in the attic.

Figure 1.1 Do i look traumatized here??

So... I am the best friend type huh?? I'm just wondering, with this sharp mouth of mine, I could offend a flock of girls in a matter seconds.. So you still think I am the best friend type huh? Nice? That one, it's not for me to judge.. But all i can say is.. Life has never been better than right now. Friends all around, to share tears and laughters.. More time to myself and my interest.. More $$ to spend on what I always wanted.. More freedom in doing what ever shit I wanted.. So, you tell me, is there anything wrong with that?? xD

Figure 2.2 Liquid 'bestfriend' oozing out and beaming with 'nice' guy's aura

Verdict: Let it comes naturally.. when it happens, it happens.. xD