For the love of the game..

It was one fine night, as usual, like any other night.. I was out with my good friend Hamzah to watch just another football match. I can vaguely recall it was Man Utd against who, but that one will for sure be a night to remember. Hamzah, being the true genuine fan of football, Red Devil inside out, left and right, is always a good mate to have some chatter over the English Premier League matches. With every tactics deployed, all the greats that carved their name in the devil’s hall of fame, all the 4-4-2 magazines flipped, he is there all the way.

Back to our outing that one night, Hamzah invited one of his friends, Rushdi (not his real name) to join our EPL session. And he brought a friend along, Kamil (not his real name either) to support their ‘beloved’ team, Manchester United. We were talking and discussing about all the happenings of the EPL all the way. The match was tight and Manchester was struggling to score as their opponent defended well. And then Kamil (still not his real name) started giving his opinion about the match. “Hey.. ape laaa Ferguson ni.. asyik main 5 orang kat tengah.. Aku dah cakap.. Manchester mana bleh main 4-5-2.. Liverpool bleh laa main 5 orang kat tengah. Manchester patut main 4 midfield je..”. Hamzah and I looked at each other, we were strucked in awe by his analysis of the match. Rushdi added “A’ah laa.. Man U mana bleh main 5 orang kat tengah.. tak kena gaya”. And then he added some trash talk about Chelsea. Well, being a Chelsea fan, its inevitable to get some trash talk from envied rival fans. But somehow his trash talk doesn’t affect me at all.. I smiled.

I raised an eyebrow to Hamzah, and he just smiled also. We agreed on something at that moment. Rushdi and Kamil kept on with their trash talk.. Trying to provoke me in trashing Man U in return. They kept repeating it on and on.. about reverting to 4 midfields and Ferguson is an idiot to deploy 4-5-2 which only Liverpool can pull out. I laughed.. and say “Chelsea can always work something out, with 4-4-2 or even 4-3-3, if I count it right laaa..”. I dropped some hint. The pair replied by saying “Cuba laa Chelsea try and be adventurous sket.. main 4-5-2 macam Liverpool.. mana tau bleh jadi champion balik”. I smelled sarcasm there.. but somehow.. I’m not affected. Hamzah’s smiled, of some sort of an embarrassment. “I have to do something” was written all over his face. So Hamzah added before the pair could reply “Hmm… maybe kalo Van Der Sar naik atas bleh laa kot main 4-5-2”. Still, persistently the pair argued on why do they need Van Der Sar to come up and trying to trash talk Hamzah of not being a true football fan and tried to back a Chelsea fan. That was it, I need to say it directly now “Hmm.. cuba kau kira berapa orang ada dalam padang kalau kau main 4-5-2”. Immediately they replied, “11 laa.. ko ingat kitaorang ni bodo sangat ke??”. I laughed and Hamzah laughed as well..

They kept nagging bout how they love Man U and stuffs and it went on for quite sometime until Rushdi realized.. “a’ah laaa.. kalau 4-5-2 dah 11 orang.. sape nak jadi gol keeper?”. There you go.. FINALLY!!! Baru nak sedar.. =D After that, they learned to keep their mouth shut and we talked about something else. Where did all the “Glory, glory Man United” go?? The jersey is still on their body but their mouth is talking about studies and how’s life and all. On the way back, Hamzah and I have quite a discussion on that incident. Being a true devil himself, Hamzah had to admit that there are a lot of wannabes who supported Man Utd to follow the bandwagon. And somewhat a safe choice in football where in reality, they don’t know shit about it. As for me, personally I respect all the great individuals in Man Utd FC, but the club as a brand, I’m against it. And I have to admit as well, that nowadays, Chelsea is pulling that kind of crowds also due to the overwhelming improvement they’ve made throughout all these years. Being a true Blue myself, I sometime miss the good ol’ days. We were mid-tablers but still with genuine love of the game and team with greats like Zola the magician, Gullit, Desailly, Vialli, Tore Andre Flo, Casiraghi (even for just a while)..

So, the love of the game can never be faked for the sake of being in the 'in' crowd. If you love em, you just love em.. regardless on where they finish at the end of the season. And guys.. please don’t convert your girlfriends into football wannabes, it’s a disgrace. And if they try to learn to watch football because of you, just say “If you love em, u just love em.. It’s not going to affect how much I love you”. =D

i live as a ghost
of a painful past
stuck between the border
of the world and the afterlife
a broken soul
that walks among the living
but were never actually there
insignificant by day
feared upon by night
but none would ever
have the guts to understand
why i still roam among the living
or ever noticed the tears
in my eyes of the man i used to be

of silence and lambs..

For those who know me, by now they should know that I'm an easy going kinda guy.. I live my life happily and often try not to dwell into negativity. I am full of sarcasm, sharp jokes and beating around the bush. To compensate all these.. I have developed quite an immunity to such things. Like people say, don't do unto others what you don't want others to do to you.. So practically, you can do almost whatever you like to me.. sarcasm, oh please.. give me more. Sharp jokes, ohh... i just love em... Drop me all you want, i will drop you back.. With the battle of words and egos, I am you friendly rival.. just be prepared to swallow my counters.. Drop me just anything.. just never ever insult my intellect. Sarcasm, ego stabbing and all.. I value them. Because people needs their brain to do that. It's like sharpening your tools, heightening your wit and cunningness.. There are wisdom behind it.. however twisted those words are.. they have values. No matter how stupid (sometimes) they're, a thought have been placed in the struggle to fight back. But I will never ever understand silence. Like the silent treatments that girls do.

When people go silent whether it is voluntary or involuntary, there is something wrong. It's either they're a mute or they failed to communicate. Some say silence is virtue, what the hell?? So by shutting the f#*@ up, I'm living a virtuous life? All around the world, people are struggling to reach each other, to understand each other by words.. And here you are, saying that silence is virtuous, and carrying weights in communication. Perhaps those American soldiers should be stationed in Iraq and just shut their mouth up huh?

Silence will never make you look smarter or more profound as before. When you go silent, people will speculate. Like it or not, we're human beings. These speculations could work for and against us. Kinda like a wild card. You're better off explaining directly and let them speculate on something solid than just thin air. And yes, you wont look smarter if you go silent. People will say that you're just an idiot, thinking for thaaat long to come up with thaaat answer. Even if you go silent in conversation, while making your deep and profound looks, people will know.. "he just don't know shit and just taking the easy way out". So be mindful about these consequences before you pull another deep and profound look whenever you're caught out of your knowledge. =D

And another thing.. the 'silent treatment' by a group of people.. Like being silent and expecting people to somehow read your mind and do what u wanted them to do. The last time i checked.. not even 5% of the total human population have psychic ability (so they say). So don't expect people in your life to suddenly read your minds and do your bidding.. Never ever be silent and expect your boyfriend to 'pujuk' you.. because he's clearly clueless bout it. Don't make it more complicated as they already are. Use your tongue (Not to french kiss him laa.. tolol!!) and utter some words. State your demands, because if he loves you enough.. he'll listen. =D

As for me.. I'm making my stand here.. That people need to communicate more. Talk first before pulling any triggers. Silence doesn't make you virtuous or either built a deep and profound character of yours. And people don't read minds... not until we evolve into a freaky looking being with big brains to do everything (e.g. communicate, pee, have sex, lift thing telekinetic-ally) stop expecting people to understand your inner voice. Voice them out and have the gut to be your gut voice.. =D

...

suddenly.. all the colors in my life become brighter.. as if it was a television set and you adjusted the knob and everything become vibrant. Red is redder.. blue is bluer and the contrast is as clear as the horizon on the west over a calm sea. It's like an enlightenment. I was given a choice.. and i chose... my choice is my life is my life, for me and for the ones i love. I wont love people who just wont love me back. I wont give in to people who just don't wanna give something back also.. i don't wanna talk to people who don't wanna be talked to.. As far as my concerns, things are going just nice over here. i wont tolerate silence because silence is like an insult to my intellectual, to my ability to speak, to think and to empathize.. To understand one's situation through the gift of communication. I'm willing to make this so-called mistake because all the sign are showing that this is the way..